Start building a Self-Regulation Toolkit for your Child’s Big Feelings
Hey there, and welcome! I’m so excited you’re here!
Whether you are a parent, a caregiver, or just curious about pediatric Occupational Therapy, I hope this space feels like a warm cup of tea and a deep breath — a place to find practical support for your child and a little peace of mind for you as well!
Let’s start with one of the most common topics that comes up in my therapy sessions with families: self-regulation.
Self-regulation is the ability to manage emotions, energy levels, and behaviour in a way that is appropriate for the situation. It’s not just about “calming down” or “being good” — it’s about learning how to notice what’s going on inside, and choosing how to respond.
Self-regulation includes:
Recognizing feelings like frustration or excitement
Knowing what the body needs (hungry? overstimulated? tired?)
Choosing helpful ways to cope (deep breaths, a movement break, asking for help)
Adjusting energy levels to match the task (like calming down for bedtime or focusing on tasks)
Sounds simple, but for a growing child, it is a huge skill, and like any skill, it takes practice, support, and the right tools. Many children struggle with self-regulation because their brains are still developing. The part of the brain responsible for impulse control, emotional regulation, and flexible thinking doesn’t fully develop until the mid-20s. So when we expect toddlers, preschoolers, or even school-aged kids to “just calm down,” we’re asking a lot from little brains that are still under construction.
Additionally, some children might find self-regulation harder because of:
Sensory processing differences and sensitivities to loud noises, bright lights, and itchy clothing tags, which cause instant overwhelm.
Neurodivergence, like ADHD or autism, or anxiety, can affect regulation, requiring additional support in learning how to regulate.
Emotional stress or trauma from big changes like moving, new siblings, school transitions, etc.
If your child is easily overwhelmed, gets stuck in big emotions, or bounces between zero and one hundred in seconds, you are not alone. Occupational Therapy can help! Pediatric Occupational Therapy looks at the whole child, their sensory needs, routines, relationships, and environment to help build a toolkit that works for them.
Start Building a Self-Regulation Toolkit
Think of it as giving your child a set of tools they can reach for when their emotions feel too big to handle. Their toolkit might include:
A quiet corner with soft pillows and calming visuals
Fidget toys or stress balls
A feelings chart to help name what they’re feeling
A calm-down jar or glitter bottle
Visual routines to help with transitions
Affirmations that help them feel safe and loved
Here are three practical strategies you can try in the moment to add to your self-regulation toolkit when your child is having a hard time:
The “Bubble Breath” Technique
Say: “Let’s blow a big bubble together!”
Have your child take a slow breath in through their nose and blow out as if they’re blowing a giant bubble through a wand. This imagery helps them slow their breathing (which settles the nervous system) and keeps their attention in a fun, playful way.
Hand-on-Heart Grounding
Say: “Put your hand on your heart. Feel it? That’s your brave heart working hard.”
Guide your child to place one hand on their chest and one on their belly. Take slow breaths together. This calms both body and mind, especially when they feel overwhelmed by intense emotions.
Sit & Press Strategy
Say: “Let’s do a strong sit to help your body feel steady.”
Please have your child sit on a firm chair and press their hands into their knees or against the seat. You can also place a cushion or a firm object in their lap. This deep pressure input is a powerful way to calm the body and bring a sense of safety.
These tools can be used at any time at home, in a store, in the car, or during transitions. And over time, your child will begin to recognize which tools help them feel more grounded.
Don’t forget that you are your child’s biggest co-regulator. Your presence, your tone, and your deep breaths help so much! Be gentle with yourself as you guide your child through the ups and downs of emotional growth.
For more personalized support, let’s connect. Life Skills Occupational Therapy is here to empower families with developmentally appropriate, faith-aligned, and culturally sensitive tools.
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Stay tuned for more posts on fine motor development, feeding tips, sensory strategies, emotional wellness, and more!
If you have a topic you’d love to see covered, I’d love to hear from you! Click on the “Contact Us” button on the top right corner of the webpage and let me know!